


I Can Only Rely On Myself

by TheSnarkyAuthor



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Atobe and his Ore-sama-ness, Kevins a jerk, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nanjirou too, Persistent lovers, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ryoma relies on no one, Snarky Ryoma, Some Bondage, anything bad that could happen to Ryoma probably does, betrayed Ryoma, disowned Ryoma, poor Ryoma, the five don't really appreciate that, you'll hate him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:24:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSnarkyAuthor/pseuds/TheSnarkyAuthor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryoma put his trust in his family and friends. Maybe he shouldn't have, but then again sometimes a seemingly bad situation can turn into something extraordinary. Will be OT6.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Only Rely On Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I'm TheSnarkyAuthor, but you can just call me Snarky. This fic is already posted on fanfiction, but I just recently discovered AO3 (where on earth have I been?), and decided I wanted to post it here too. I have 11 chapters up on fanfiction, and the story is yet to be complete. I am trying to get back into the swing of things again, but I can't really promise anything. The only thing I can say for certain is that I won't abandon this fanfic, ever. It's my baby. So, while updates maybe slow once I catch you guys up to where I left off on fanfiction, they will come eventually. I pinky promise. 
> 
> Some minor warnings. This first chapter contains rape/non con. If that's not something you're ok with reading, then press the back button. I don't condone rape, obviously, but it was something that was necessary for me to put in here for the sake of my story.
> 
> Also, this story has been written on in a three year time period. You are going to probably see obvious signs of better grammar, and better flow the farther into the story you get. I would rewrite the entire thing to ensure that the quality of each chapter stayed the same, but that would be a really big pain, so no. I'm not. Lol. Also if I did that the story would probably be extremely different, cause I would want to change things as I went along. So it's staying as is. 
> 
> On to the story!

Ryoma looked in the bathroom mirror of his new "home", and he did not like what he saw.

'What the hell did I do to deserve this? And how the HELL did this happen?'

Bruises, a dark purplish black in color, graced his skin everywhere from his upper torso to his lower abdomen. His attackers had kindly spared his face, knowing that if they left evidence of the brutal beating anywhere that would be visible on a daily basis that questions would be raised, and if the right questions were asked, they would get answers, and those answers could mean a whole lot of trouble for the people involved. Not that Ryoma would ever go to anyone for help, he had way to much pride to do something like that. As far as he was concerned it was no ones business what happened to him. Not his teachers. Not the police. And especially not his friends and family.

'Friends and family huh?' Ryoma thought. He thought that he had those, but how wrong he had been. He made a mistake. He put his trust in people that he thought had cared about him, and these were the results.

**_Flashback (two nights ago)_ **

_Ryoma came home from school early. He was 18, a senior in high school, and it was his last week of school. Soon he would be done and he was so excited, not that anyone could tell that from the outside. He was looking forward to trying to start his pro tennis career, he had been invited to play in the U.S. open. Not to mention that his best friend, Kevin, who was trying to go pro also, had been invited to the U.S. open as an alternate. Life really couldn't get any better as far as he was concerned._

_"Tadaima." Ryoma called out as he came through the front door. His mom had passed away a when he was 16 from cancer, so the only one that called back was his "baka Oyaji"._

_"Okaeri Ryoma-chan." Grinned his idiot of a father. Ryoma could almost swear that everything the old geezer did was just to get under his skin. I mean seriously. Who calls their 18 year old son 'chan'?_

_Ryoma glared and his father laughed. It had been had since his mom had passed, but the loss had unexpectedly brought Ryoma and his dad closer together. He would never admit it, not in a million years, but he liked that he was able to talk to his dad about things now. Even if he was a perverted monk._

_"You should know by now, your glare does not affect me son. I invented that glare after all." Trying to prove his point Nanjiroh playfully glared back into his sons eyes that matched his own, liquid gold ones. He smirked as he watched his son roll his eyes and trudge up the stairs to his bedroom. 'He is such a teenager' Nanjiroh thought._

_Ryoma was tired. He had a pretty busy day, even if it was short, and tennis practice had been absolutely brutal. His captain had made him run 70 extra laps around the tennis courts for "smarting off". Ryoma really didn't understand what his problem was. So what if he'd corrected his captain on the difference between an eastern grip and a western grip. Did his "buchou" really want the freshman to learn the incorrect names for their grips?Not to mention the fact that he had exams today. It didn't matter that he was 4th in his class, the exams still weren't something he took lightly. He had done his best in all of his subjects, and he was sure he was going to be proud of the results._

_He laid down on his bed and slipped on his head phones and closed his eyes. He figured he'd listen to some music before going to bed. He felt a sudden movement of the bed and looked up to see his cat Karupin curling up next to his side._

_Karupin was a brown and white spotted Himalayan cat. His best friend, and the only thing that could successfully wake up a sleeping Ryoma without getting broken. Ryoma would never hurt his beloved cat. Karupin was probably even more important to Ryoma than tennis. Now that was saying something._

_Ryoma finally managed to doze off into a restful sleep, hoping that tomorrow would be just as productive and smooth as today had been._

* * *

 

_Ryoma woke up to Karupin pouncing on his face._

_Ryoma sat up and looked at the alarm clock to see that it read 7:15 am._

_'Crap,' he thought, 'I'm gonna be late again.' Since he was going to be late anyways Ryoma took his time. It wasn't like anything too important was going on at tennis practice, I mean he only had one more day until he graduated, there really wasn't much he could do. He couldn't participate in the practices for the upcoming competitions, since he wasn't going to be in them. So really there wasn't a point in getting to worked up over being late. Instead he enjoyed his favorite Japanese style breakfast and his leisurely walk to school._

_When he finally got to school, he saw Kevin running up to him._

_"Hey Ryo! Where the hell were you this morning? The captain nearly blew a fuse when you didn't show?"_

_"Sorry Kev." Ryoma smirked. "I woke up late and figured why should I bother. I don't see why you're still going. We graduate in two days and it's not like watching them train for upcoming tennis competitions that we won't be participating in will be of any benefit to us."_

_"I dunno." Kevin responded. "It's not like I have anything better to do. But I guess you do have a point. I guess we don't have to show up anymore.." Kevin was quiet for a few seconds and then said "Hey Ryo, can I talk to you later? I have something I need to talk to you about..."_

_Ryoma looked at Kevin and realized for the first time how tense and troubled his friend looked. "Sure. You know you can tell me anything right? I mean you are my best friend."_

_"I know. Thanks. Meet on the roof after school?" Kevin peeked at Ryoma from the corner of his eye, a small smile playing on his lips._

_"Sure thing." Ryoma said, wondering just what Kevin had on his mind that was making him so unsure of himself. Usually Kevin was just as, if not more, cocky than himself. It made Ryoma slightly nervous. Hopefully whatever it was that was bothering his blonde friend wasn't too serious. He hoped that he could be of some help._

* * *

 

_**(Later that day. On the roof.)** _

_Ryoma was leaning against the railing on the roof watching the students leave when Kevin finally showed up. He didn't look to good. He looked nervous, his face was flushed, and he looked like he would rather be anywhere other than on the roof with Ryoma. This worried Ryoma a lot. He had never seen his friend this worked up before. Whatever it was that Kevin had to tell him he was sure that it was going to be big. It had to be from the looks of his friend._

_Kevin made his way over the Ryoma and took a deep breathe. He could do this. He told himself that he would do this at the end of their senior year of high school. They only had one more day left and it was now or never._

_Kevin took one more deep, steadying breath and opened his mouth to speak. "Ryoma..." He couldn't do this. He absolutely couldn't do this. This was hell. It had to be. But he told himself he'd do this and he'd be damned if he backed out now. So he tried again. "Ryoma..."_

_Ryoma looked at his friend. Something was seriously wrong. He could feel it. Kevin never called him Ryoma. Never. It was always either Ryo or brat. Never Ryoma. If felt like a knot was forming in his stomach. "Kevin are you okay? You don't look to good... maybe we should just go home -"_

_"No! I'm fine!" Kevin really wanted to get this over with now._

_"-we can talk about this tomorrow-" Ryoma stated continuing on from what he was saying earlier, completely ignoring what Kevin was saying._

_"Hey! Will you-" Kevin tried getting Ryoma's attention again._

_"or maybe you can call me la-" Ryoma still wasn't paying attention._

_"just shut up you idiot! I'm trying to-" Kevin was getting really pissed by now. It was really frustrating when you were trying to tell someone something important and they were talking over you. Acting like you didn't exist. He could feel his patience starting to snap. Which wasn't a good thing._

_"-ter and tell me then. Maybe we could even get togeth-" Ryoma continued on. Acting as if Kevin never spoke. He had a bad feeling about this conversation._

_"I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU I LIKE YOU, YOU ASS HOLE!" Kevin yelled. He was really getting tired of this. Here he was trying to confess and it had to turn out like this._

_Ryoma finally shut up. And stared. With his mouth hanging wide open. Kevin swore that a bug could of flown in there and it wouldn't of phased his golden eyed friend. It was almost humorous._

_Ryoma was stunned. He had no snarky comeback for this. Kevin couldn't possibly be serious. Kevin wasn't gay. Surely he would have known if his own best friend was gay. And in love...with him. In love with him? It had to be a joke. A sick joke, but a joke nonetheless. So he did the only thing he that he could in his situation. He laughed. Not a true laugh that someone does when they hear something funny, but a nervous laugh. Like a 'you gotta be kidding me, there's no way that's true' laugh. Apparently he had made a grave mistake, because Kevin snapped, what little patience the blonde had managed to keep was now completely thrown out the window. And a Kevin in that state is not a good Kevin to be around._

_Kevin's blue eyes darkened until they were almost black. A midnight blue. It was terrifying to watch his friends eyes lose the humor that they usually held. Now all that they held was fury and hate. It was not a good combination at all, and Ryoma wasn't entirely sure that he enjoyed being on the receiving end of that glare._

_"C-come on Kev, you couldn't have been serious, right? I mean, I think I would have known if my best friend was gay. We hang out all the time. W-we talk about girls and tennis. We go to the arcade. You've spent the night at my house so many times that my dad has pretty much adopted you. You're my best f-friend, you're like a brother to me. You can't possibly l-l-ove me. You just can't. It's not possible. You have got to be messing with me." Ryoma managed to stutter out. He wasn't big on words in the first place, and now he was trying to reason with his best friend who was proclaiming to love him, while trying to sort out what the hell was going on. He still wasn't entirely sure he was understanding the situation. He couldn't possibly be understanding it. He was trying his best to convince himself that all of this was just some big nightmare. Surely he would wake up soon._

_Kevin stalked towards Ryoma. He was more that furious. He was livid. Outraged. Was Ryoma really making light of his feelings like this? Was he really trying to laugh it all off as some kind of joke, a misunderstanding?He would not, could not, tolerate this. He would just have to prove to Ryoma that he was serious. He didn't care if he had to use force. He would get his way. NO one was going to take him lightly and get away with it. Not even the man that he thought he loved._

_Ryoma backed away slowly, not liking the look he was getting or the vibe that Kevin was giving off. If he could just get to the door, maybe he could manage to get away. Then Kevin could cool off, they could talk and everything could go back to being normal. But he had to get away first. Maybe he could-_

_Kevin punched him in the gut. Hard. Ryoma fell to the ground and gasped for air. He had never been on the receiving end of one of Kevin's punches before, and now he was glad he hadn't. They hurt like hell._

_"Kev... can't we talk about this. I don't understand. I just need some time to let all this wrap around my head. I mean it's really hard to find out that your best friend is not only gay, but also in love with you in the same day. Please, just give me some time." Ryoma pleaded. He didn't want this to go any farther. He didn't like the way he thought things were going to end up._

_"It's too late to talk about this! You laughed at me you ass hole! You actually laughed at me! You didn't even listen to me when I tried to tell you how I felt, and when I finally managed to get it out you not only stare at me like a gaping fish, but when you do respond it's by laughing! Do you know how much I dreaded telling you? Do you know how scared I was? Apparently not. Instead of just turning me down, and telling me that you wanted to just be friends you actually had the gall to laugh at me! Do you know how demeaning that is? How much that hurt? And now you try to make up for it by asking for time? You want to talk? Hell no! You don't get time, and we certainly aren't going to talk!" Keving sneered._

_Kevin was on a rampage. And any hope of Ryoma had of getting out of there with minor damage left._

_Ryoma cringed into the hard concrete when Kevin knelt down next to him. He knew this wasn't going to go well. He should have known better than to laugh when Kevin confessed and now he was going to pay the price._

_Kevin grabbed Ryoma by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up harshly. Kevin's face was centimeters away from Ryoma's, and Ryoma saw him sneer. That sneer scared him shitless. It was the kind of sneer that someone with malicious intent gave an unsuspecting victim. It was predatory. It was then that Ryoma knew that he was going to be eaten, and that it was going to be neither erotic or fun. It was going to be hell, and he would be lucky if he could walk away._

_It was then that Kevin kissed him. It wasn't gentle, or flirty. It wasn't meant to tease, to make the other want more. It was an animalistic kiss. One filled with so much venom and hatred that he was shocked that what was kissing him was human, let alone the person that he had thought to be his best friend. The person the had just moments ago proclaimed to like him. He felt Kevin yank on his hair, arching his head backwards, making access to his neck easy. Kevin didn't waste any time as he hungrily bit down, hard, on the soft spot where the neck and shoulder joined._

_'Fuck, that hurt.' Thought Ryoma. He tried to squirm out of Kevin's hold, but all that earned him was a furious growl from the blonde. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is not going well. I have to find a way out of here.' Ryoma was inwardly screaming out himself. He really didn't have a clue how he had gotten himself into this mess._

_Kevin finally released Ryoma's neck to work on getting his shirt off, however Ryoma wasn't having it. Kevin was enjoying this. He really didn't mind that Ryoma was struggling so much. It was actually quite fun making the brat squirm. Kevin knew that he would win, so it really didn't matter how much the poor boy under him struggled. He did however want Ryoma. And he wanted him soon. And in order to get that he would have to somehow manage to get Ryoma out of his clothes. Trying to weigh which he enjoyed more, watching Ryoma desperately struggle or getting Ryoma naked, he picked the latter._

_Deciding to end Ryoma's struggling Kevin punched Ryoma in the same place that he punched him the first time, only harder, making Ryoma gasp, and his golden eyes swim with tears. Kevin had to admit, those eyes were one of the main things that had attracted him to Ryoma. And seeing those eyes looking at him now, bright with tears and fear, made him so hard that it practically hurt._

_Taking advantage of Ryoma's lack of movement Keving stripped both Ryoma and himself._

_"Please Kevin. Please, don't do this. We know that you really don't want to do this. Please. You're my best friend. I don't want this. Just don't. Please don't." Ryoma pleaded as he tried to cover himself. This was proving to be rather difficult however, because Kevin was currently pinning his arms, making the feat rather impossible to accomplish. He was scared. Oh god was he scared. And helpless. He knew that there was nothing that he could do. The only thing that he could do was pray to whatever god there was that Kevin would get a hold of himself before it was too late._

_"I don't want to do this? Oh how wrong you are, my naive best friend. I do want to do this. And pretty soon you will too. I 'm absolutely positive that you'll come back for seconds once you've had a taste." Kevin practically purred._

_"I won't. I absolutely won't. I'm not gay. I don't want this. I don't want you to fuck me. Get off of me!" Ryoma spat out. He was scared. And that was giving him the courage to say things without thinking._

_Kevin laughed a maniacal laugh. The kind of laugh that all the villains on the cartoon shows have. The kind of laugh that makes your skin crawl._

_Ryoma cringed._

_Kevin sneered. That was the last thing he saw when Kevin plunged into him, dry, losing not only his consciousness but also his virginity._

* * *

 

**_(Later that day. Sunset.)_ **

_Ryoma woke up feeling like shit. No, that's not entirely accurate, he actually felt worse than that. He just couldn't think of the word that would describe how he was feeling, or if there was even a word for it._

_He started taking assessment of the situation he was in. He was alone and naked on the roof of the high school. Apparently Kevin had left him after unceremoniously raping him. He was pissed about that. Next was the fact that his head was foggy. He assumed that it was due to passing out. At least that's what he had hoped. He really hoped that it wasn't something more serious that Kevin had done to him while he was passed out. That would really suck. The next and probably most pertinent of the problems was the fact that his back hurt like hell and his ass felt like it was of fire. He really hoped that nothing serious was wrong back there. He really didn't want to have to go to the doctor and explain all this to them._

_He got up, slowly, testing his strength. He really hoped that he could make it home. He found that he could walk, slowly and painfully it was true, but he could still walk. Slowly, at an almost snail like pace he made his way down the stairs and out the school, to his home._

* * *

 

**_(An hour and a half later)_ **

_He had finally made it home. He opened the door, only to be greeted by a furious looking father, and standing behind him, a smirking Kevin. A Kevin who looked like he had been crying. Shit, he had a bad feeling about this. A really bad feeling._

_"Ryoma, do you care to explain why you did that to Kevin?" His father seriously looked like he wanted to kill him. Ryoma didn't understand. His dad was never this mad at him. Ever. He didn't even do anything. It was Kevin that had done something to him. Just what the hell was going on today. It was like he had stepped into a whole different universe, one where things didn't make sense and everything was backwards._

_"What are you talking about Oyaji?" Maybe using his dad's nickname would help. He certainly hoped so. He didn't like the look that he was getting._

_"Don't try to act like you don't know Ryoma! Kevin ran over here today crying saying that you forced him to have sex with you! Why did you do that! No son of mine will be gay, much less a rapist! I can't believe you! How could you? You and Kevin have been like brothers since you were toddlers! And you rape him? That's disgusting! You tell me right now wh—" Nanjiroh spat out, but was interrupted by Ryoma._

_"W-wait! What are you talking about? I didn't rape him! He raped me! I didn't do anything to him! Wait, I guess that's not entirely true, he confessed to me, and I laughed because I thought he was joking- but then he totally lost it. He raped me! And left me on the roof of the high school, naked and alone! It took me an hour and a freaking half to get here!" Ryoma yelled._

_"Don't you lie to me boy! Kevin wouldn't make something like that up!" Nanjiroh accused, his eyes darkening, and his stare turning deathly. If looks could kill, Ryoma would already be dead and buried._

_"I'm not lying! Look!" Ryoma pulled down the collar of his shirt, exposing the vicious bite mark that Kevin had given Ryoma._

_"That was where I bit you trying to get you to let go of me! Stop trying to make me look like the bad guy! I did nothing wrong!" Kevin defended, tears in his eyes. He really was a great actor. He should have been in the drama club rather than the tennis club._

_"Ry-o-ma." His dad hissed. This really wasn't looking good. Nanjiroh was furious. "You have one day to pack up your shit and get out of this house. You are not welcome here anymore." His father hissed._

_Ryoma broke down. He didn't understand what was happening. "I-I don't understand. Why? What did I do? I didn'-" Ryoma started but didn't get to finish._

_"You know exactly what you did. Stop pretending. Now go upstairs and pack your stuff. Tomorrow you're gone. You're no son of mine." Nanjiroh turned away from his son and hugged Kevin close to him. Over his fathers shoulder he saw Kevin smirk. Ryoma went upstairs and packed his stuff. Luckily he had saved up enough money to rent a hotel for a while, but he'd have to find work soon. After packing his stuff, Ryoma picked up Karupin and cuddled with him. Slowly he cried himself to sleep._

* * *

 

**_(The next morning at school)_ **

_Apparently Kevin had started a rumor about what happened. Not only did people now think he was gay, but they also thought that he was a rapist. To say the least his last day of school was a nightmare. He had been shoved up against bathroom stalls mercilessly during breaks and threatened within an inch of his life, been beaten in the school yard, and had been called some of the filthiest names that he have ever heard. And the worst of it? The teachers didn't stop any of it. They saw but they turned their heads. Ryoma could of sworn that he'd heard one of the teachers mumble under their breath the he "deserved it for what he did" and that people like him should "burn in hell". Ryoma wondered how some people even got to be educators, when they obviously don't give a damn about the welfare of their students._

* * *

**_(After school)_ **

_Kevin came up behind Ryoma and threw his arms around his neck, while purring in his ear "Hey princess, how was your day?'"_

_"Shut the fuck up Kevin. I don't want to hear it." Ryoma growled. He was fed up with this._

_"Ryoma are you sure you want to take that tone? As you've noticed I have allies. You, however, do not. You're all alone. Poor Ryoma" Kevin mocked, his mouth still next to Ryoma's ear._

_Ryoma elbowed Kevin in the stomach. Hard. Kevin doubled over and Ryoma ran off. He got a taxi, went to his house, grabbed his stuff and Karupin and left without so much as leaving a note. As the taxi pulled away Ryoma didn't even bother taking a last glance at the place he grew up in, because to him, it was no longer home._

_When the taxi pulled up to the hotel, he got out grabbed his stuff, and went up to the front desk. After checking in he went to his room, number 324, and got settled. Once he was done unpacking, he took a nice, long, hot shower. After getting out he toweled off, leaving the towel that he used to dry his hair to fall around his neck and grabbing another towel to put around his lower torso. Only then did he look into the mirror._

**_(End flashback)_ **

* * *

 

And that's how he ended up where he was now. His body may be beaten, however his pride was not. He was pissed. No one was allowed to make him feel this vulnerable. No body could make him feel inferior without his consent. He didn't need friends. He didn't need his daddy to hold his hand. He was Ryoma Echizen dammit! And he was going to make something of himself, without relying on other people.

**Author's Note:**

> And thats the end of chapter 1. If you liked it, kudos and comments are always welcome. They make me smile like a complete goon. :)
> 
> Peace. Love. Tacos. Yaoi.  
> TheSnarkyAuthor


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